First Line Test

I failed the first line test.

Hello dear reader!

Today I am going to talk about hooking your audience. When Phil, Dustin and I were at Dragonsteel, we had a gentleman named Bryan come by our booth. He was fantastic to talk to and we spoke with him several days over the course of the convention.

I think it was day two he came back around and he told us that he was doing what he dubbed “The first line test”. He was going around to tables and asking for the first lines from each book at the table, and whichever book had the best first line was the one that he bought.

This was ridiculously humbling. I’m pretty sure Dustin, Phil, and I all looked at each other and thought “Oh no” as Bryan started picking up our books and read our first lines out loud.

First Dustin’s book. “Cas limped into town.”

Then Phil’s book. “When the somber toll of the nursemaid’s bell rang in the humid night air, marking the hour, the city of Arathes had quieted to a hum.”

Then it was my turn. I asked if it could be the first line of the prologue or if it had to be the first line of chapter one. Bryan said I could pick so I went with the prologue. “Jaren knew he was dreaming because he could see.” He flipped to chapter one. “Jaren woke with a start.”

He gave me a look, and probably said something along the lines of “Yeah, that’s pretty lame for a first line.” And he’s not wrong.

When I was writing my first book, I wasn’t thinking too much about the first line, which of course is your first chance to really hook your reader. There are a number of mistakes that I made with my first book. My first line isn’t that great, it starts with the dreaded and cliche scene where a character is waking up, and so many more rules of writing which I didn’t know existed at the time. I just wanted to tell the story that I wanted to read but couldn’t find anywhere.

I think I had put much more care and attention into the prologue being the hook, but I have since learned that people don’t always read your prologue. And of course, without the Prologue for added context, my first line feels EXTRA cliche.

Despite this, I am still immensely proud of my first book. Are there a lot of things that could be improved upon? Sure. But it was my first book and I think it was written to the best of my ability at the time that I wrote it. I certainly hope I have learned and improved since then.

I may go back and see at some point if I can craft a better first line. It might be an interesting exercise to try to rewriter the first line, first paragraph, or even the first chapter, just to see how much I’ve improved or changed as a writer. But I have other projects I need to get through first.

Phil, Dustin, and myself all discussed the interaction after Bryan bought a book and headed off to enjoy the rest of the convention. It was a great lesson for all of us. You know that first lines are important. But by pitting them up against each other to see which one was the most interesting and knowing that whichever book came out on top got the purchase, that kind of puts things in a whole new light. It’s one of those situations where you know something, but you don’t fully realize it until that moment kind of thing.

If you book is lucky enough to be in a bookstore, the title and the cover help get a reader to pick it up off the shelf, but your first line might mean the difference between a purchase or not. I know not everyone starts with the first line. Some people flip to the middle of the book and read a few paragraphs, some people like to read the first line or the first few pages, and some people just go on vibes alone. But when you think about your first line competing with a bunch of other first lines, it does change how you approach it.

Wherever you are, thanks Bryan for that valuable lesson! Our future books will be much improved by it.

Till next time dear reader, let me know what your favorite first line is, or which of the three of our first lines you would pick from. <3 Tiff